Parents in law

Where several people live together, there always are problems. Particularly then if several generations live under one roof, this can get rapid at expense for the partner related by marriage. This doesn't have to adapt only at the new life with its partner, it also must adapt to the parents. When the pair doesn't live with the parents, it often comes to discrepancies, but too. Parents frequently cling to their daughter or their son. You cannot let their child off. They are often jealous opposite the companion of the child. You are afraid to pass their child on to its partner and to lose it through this. This is problematic particularly then if the child was the only purpose in life of the parents till now.

Today's parents-in-law are, however, modern, they frequently feel a fulfilled life themselves and by the modern communication techniques they don't immediately have to appear in the apartment or house to learn how their child is. You can contact their children rapidly by telephone or e-mail. The problems begin, however, if the parents interfere in the relation of their children with their perhaps well-meant but nevertheless unwelcome advice. One needs good nerves to bear this over a longer time period.

But also the children must be able to let the narrow relationship off to their parents. Already those of this have done and have moved before their own marriage, have taken a large step in this direction children. If the pair already lives in a common apartment, in the evening, which rapidly over, however, still drives one partners to the eating to its parents before it drives partners to his home, it hasn't come loose of the parental home yet. The other partner who as a rule suffers from it must talk with his companion through life about it. The parental proximity of his partner "gets" too many him also if. One cannot choose the parents-in-law but with a couple of tips the relation to these can be improved.

It is advisable just after the marriage to fix the rules of the game of the living together. Later, it will be more difficult to change these again. In addition, the parents-in-law don't get younger, older people change according to tendency no longer so lightly. The parents must respect the privacy of the pair. The parents shouldn't behave like rivals opposite the partner of their child in which they try to get the only attention of their child. The marriage of one's own should be in priority before the relation to the parents. Who accepts greater financial support of the parents also must expect a dependence. The purchase of a house, apartment or cars can cement the position of power of the parents. Babysitting but just as frequently or domestic help contribute to an increased say.

There almost are problems in all respects. These should, however, be first cleared with the partner before one addresses his parents. But in no case one should make the partner bad in front of the parents. The parents of one's own can look at the problems really objectively only with difficulty. If the relation to the parents-in-law is irreparable, it recommends to go himself onto distance. One should, however, never forbid its partner the contact to his parents. The grandma grandpa grandchild relation mustn't as well suffer from the discrepancies between parents and grandparents. The grandparents grandchild relation is something special, the grandchildren may not be robbed of this experience because of the disputes.