Children after the separation/divorce children

At the divorce the family structure changes. It difficult is if children have already resulted from the partnership. The children suffer most from the separation of the parents. You don't understand it why their parents don't themselves like and stand any more. If this parent leaves the house, this is a catastrophe for the children. However, you don't only suffer from the divorce of their parents. The permanent quarrel is charging just for it. By a relation which is only maintained because of the children one cannot "deceive" the children. The children aren't co-included or taken advantage of even as an extortion object in the power game of their separated living parents rarely.

The children process the separation of the parents differently. Some children are looking for the guilt at themselves. The smallest children also get much from the tension loaded situation. You get aggressive or anxious. You think, if this parent is gone, goes the other one soon, too. Many react to the family conflicts with behavior disorders or enuresis. With schoolchildren the achievements at school frequently fall off. The teenagers are disappointed by their parents and will arise more rapidly than their class-mates.

The child feels refused of the separated living parent and frequently has feelings of inferiority. For the socialization and a male reference person children need both a female, the children must therefore be made possible it for to identify himself further after a separation with their mother both than with the father. It is better to not have to have contact to father or mother with a putatively bad parent contact.

The looking parent should resist the temptation to alienate the other parent of child and permanently "to talk about the former partner badly". The relation to the parent with whom the child further lives also changes. The financial one frequently also deteriorates after a divorce, apartment and care situation of the children or the family.

The looking parent finds it can unite a new partner to new conflicts come. With frequently changing partners the child is disappointed again and again when the new relation also comes to an end at the end. At the move of the new partner into the common apartment the children finally can have anxiety that they are losing the looking parent after the separated living parent now, too and to be more precise to the new partner and them alone calmly be. Many stepparents try to replace the missing parent. The child already has, however, a physical father or mother. The stepparents can develop an independent and independent relation to the child, though.

One cannot force the child to like the perhaps not very sympathetic new partner of the parent. It gets to know but with the time better if it can the stepparents become an intimate friend, listener or friend of the child, to a good one. Himself both parents find a new partner and the child lives into two families it must also always on the own rules of the respective families one voices. In the ideal case the children can but profit from the two families and finally find these a money-making.